Eleanor Roosevelt put it well when she said ‘that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent’. We are all born with open minds and hearts, with a boundless sense of potential but life experiences can knock some of that out of us. How do you recognise someone with a strong sense of self-worth? They tend to be independent thinkers and slow to be affected by the opinions of others; they accept themselves for who they are (warts and all) and they can extend this acceptance to others. The good news is that self-esteem is not fixed, counselling can support us to make a conscious effort to change habits and thoughts over time. Try the quiz below; answer all questions: Yes, No or 50/50. Give yourself a 10 for every Yes, a 5 for every 50/50 and a 0 for every No.
If you met yourself at a party would you want to get to know this person better?
Do you enjoy being alone?
Do you usually learn from your mistakes or do you have a habit of repeating them?
Do you rarely compare yourself to others?
Do you have a good sense of humour and ability to laugh at yourself?
Can you ask others for what you need or do you expect people to read your mind?
Can you receive compliments from others happily or do you dismiss them?
Do you have compassion for yourself when you are having a hard time, or do you tend to blame yourself?
If you were your own Mother or Father, would you be proud of your child?
When you look in the mirror, are you generally happy with what you see?
Making Changes; Don’t compare yourself to others. We all have unique strengths and weaknesses. Simply accept there are times you will not get the results you wanted. Remind yourself that you have simply done your best. Keep Facebook in perspective; Everyone tends to put their best foot forward on social media. The image of someone with the perfect life, perfect hair, family kids etc. is just that. An image.
Deal with your Inner Critic; If you find that your internal voice is constantly judging and critising what you do, start to practice self-compassion and non-judgement. Begin to treat yourself as you would a close friend who was struggling. Do a strengths and weaknesses inventory. Recognise what you do well and organise your time to do more of it.
Scores: 80 and upwards, Congrats you have good self-esteem! 55-79 You like and accept yourself, Below 50 Time for change? If you are interested in counselling for change in 2019, get in touch.